In case you missed Part 1, the most important takeaway was
Don’t. Regift. Junk.
If you wouldn’t buy it as a gift for someone, don’t perpetuate the cycle of pain.
Yes, but what if its all junk?
I get it. You ironically liked a donut fridge magnet in front of the wrong person and now pink frosting and sprinkles are your thing? The question is no longer why would anyone create donut-flavored vodka, it’s WTF do I do with three bottles of the stuff?
Most of us have at least one well-meaning person in our lives who just doesn’t understand gift-giving: they don’t pick up on hints, don’t understand irony, are your polar opposite in terms of taste, or just have the impulse control of a 12 year old boy who recently discovered fart machines.
They mean well, but they just keep giving you stuff that you don’t need, don’t like, can’t return, and cannot in good conscience regift to anyone else.
For suggestions on how to break the bad gifting cycle, check out this article. But for now, let’s talk about options for all of the $h!T that is piling up in your closet.
1. Give it without making it a gift
This option is best for items you have in your house that are useful for someone (who is not you), but won’t make the cut as a regift. You know that day of the week hot sauce gift set that sent you running for the sweet relief of dairy?
Giving a partially-used gift set is tacky as hell, but bringing by a bottle or two of exotic chili sauces to that one Habanero-loving friend of yours ‘just because’ shows that you care without any of the gift-related pressure.
This also works great for personalized gifts that missed the mark by a mile. Passing along the vegan cookbook that was (passive-aggressively) inscribed to your meat-loving spouse by that one relative is great gift with an inside joke for the right friend.
2. Bring it to a party
This option works best for consumables that you don’t care for, but others might enjoy. Think booze, snacks, cookies, et cetera.
The objective is for your sugar-coated squid snacks and donut-flavored vodka to either be a sleeper party favorite or to get lost in the sea of other options. Just be sure to bring it to a larger gathering, like a block party, so that there is no risk of the host giving it back to you at the end of the night.
3. Throw a White Elephant Party
Turn bad gifts into gold by establishing a new tradition: The White Elephant Party!
A White Elephant party is a gift swapping game where participants bring wrapped, usually quirky or inexpensive gifts that are chosen blindly and then switched, scored, or stolen…depending on your perspective.
The goal? For everyone to leave with something amusing, useful, or at least mildly ridiculous. It’s the perfect mix of strategy, laughter, and holiday mischief.
The Keys to Successful White Elephant regifting
- Be objective. If it is not your taste but is objectively useful and sells for at least the minimum price set for the game, it’s good to go as-is.
- Use bribes to sweeten the pot. If its totally useless or overly cheap, consider supplementing the gag gift with a bottle of wine, a low-dollar gift card, or a scratch-off lottery ticket to make it more likely to get swapped!
- The goal is funny, not gross or insulting. This should go without saying, but other people may be putting hard-earned cash into their gifts. Used personal items, expired foods, and gifts that are way too cheap (think $2 worth of chocolate at a $20 game) are not funny or fun. They are just poor sportsmanship.
- Keep your swap circles separate.
The Yankee Swap is a variation of the White Elephant, played predominantly in New England. The key difference between a Yankee Swap and a White Elephant exchange is that the Yankee Swap gift is meant to be both fun and useful, wherein the White Elephant is a gift that is more silly and a burden to the owner. They are basically the same game, so pick the rules that work best for your group.
Check out this post for complete instructions!
4. Sell, barter, or donate
This option is best for those gross mismatches in personal taste and / or stage of life. Like that ‘Welcome to the Man Cave’ sign that one relative gave you when you moved into your first studio apartment. Ew.
Holding onto stuff you don’t want or need is both stressful and wasteful. And it’s even more stressful when the gift is fancy, so you think you should like it but you don’t. Like this very bougie, but definitely not for everyone, MacKenzie Childs x Bialetti Moka Pot from Neiman Marcus (shown below).
If it’s nice, and it’s too late (or impossible) to return, you can try to sell or trade it on a resale site like Facebook Marketplace or Depop, but that’s gonna be work on your part.
I get stressed out when I can’t find a price on something at TJ Maxx, so the idea of haggling with strangers over something that I don’t even want, so that I don’t feel cheated, is literally my worst nightmare.
If it’s in good condition, but not your taste and you don’t have anyone in your life who would appreciate it, it’s better to donate it and let it find a new home, than for it to live in the back of your closet for ten years while you feel guilty and low-key annoyed about it being there.
5. It’s also okay to just throw it away
If it makes your life worse in some way, and mustering the will to find it a new home makes you want to hide under the covers all day, you have my permission to banish it to the landfill. No questions asked. Even if it’s fancy. Even if your mother in law gave it to you and expects to see it on the mantle at Christmas. Even if you should really try to sell it, but you’ve been too busy with work, kids, parents, blahblahblah.
I don’t care why. If it’s yours and owning it is worse for you than not owning it, it’s okay to just throw it away. (You should follow the disposal guidelines in your municipality, but yeah. Get rid of it.)
If it’s not yours, that would be willful destruction of property. Don’t do that.
